Dating is tough for everybody, but it is even tougher for people
who are divorced and widowed. Along with the fears of being
“out of practice,” there are often children’s feelings to consider.
How can a single mother or a bereaved woman enjoy a new
romance when dating without lying awake at night worrying
about doing emotional damage to her children?
It depends on the individual, but anyone going through a
divorce should wait at least six months to one year before
even considering dating someone new because a person
needs time to heal before putting herself back on the
market. Some newly divorced or widowed people jump into
dating to have new relationships too early because they
are afraid of being alone. That is a great blunder. Dating
after the death of a husband or partner is also not
recommended for at least one full year or two years is
even better because the grieving process should never
be rushed. Other matters of consideration before dating
include waiting until estate matters have been handled,
i.e., insurance matters, review of the will, and the
assignment of an executor. A stressful new relationship
is not recommended during this emotional time .
A woman can consider what she hopes for in a new relationship
when dating and let go of the past in the process. Bereaved
women on dating should remember that she will lose everything
that is existing if she takes a wrong decision in her new
relationship in haste.The first three months of a relationship is
the honeymoon period, where everything is fresh and exciting.
After around six months, the couple tends to relax and the
original natures start displaying. A woman gets to see what
she is really dealing with before she introduces her new beau
to her children.Otherwise,the children will inevitably feel
another loss if she decides after dating him for 4 months that
the relationship is going nowhere. She must proceed further
in dating when she finds out that his goals , his values and
beliefs are consistent with hers.She must agree to date further
when she sees that he knows to respect the feelings of others.
Once a woman decides to start dating, she should explain it
to each of her children in an age-appropriate manner so that
the children understand that Mom is still Mom,which is critical,
and do not feel neglected but they will also see that she is
happier. They will slowly make the adjustment that they may
soon share her with somebody else who is going to take care
of both of them.
Article written by Mark Jones.
