Helping Children with Alopecia Areata

  I was told a story by a parent that still makes me cry.  The child had Alopecia Areata and wore a synthetic wig to school.  All of the kids teased her unmercifully.  One afternoon as she boarded the school bus, the class bully pulled the wig off her head and passed it to the back of the bus.  Every child tried it on.  When it finally got back to her it was a mess.  She put it back on her head with tears falling from her eyes didn’t say a word.  She never returned to that school.

How this experience affected this child’s self esteem could depend heavily on the type of family she came from. It seems to me that families come in 2 types: very supportive or not supportive at all.  Without family support, children with hair loss will likely experience extreme trauma.  They are too young to understand what is happening and with their limited, undeveloped skills aren’t capable of coping.  Because our fundamental building blocks start when we are young, children born into supportive families have a better chance of growing up strong.

In my home we did not discuss hair loss. It was “unmentionable.”  My mother and I were both going bald at the same time, but it was NEVER mentioned.  I think the sense was “if you don’t talk about it, it doesn’t exist.”  I can see now that growing up in a nurturing environment with open communication would have helped me tremendously as a child. Kids are often cruel – as are adults. My parents couldn’t have n
ecessarily protected me from the teasing and ridicule of other kids, but their support would have strengthened me to better handle it when I was called “Baldy” in whispers and snickers by other children.

            Dealing with hair loss is hard and I can’t emphasize enough how important the influence of family can be.  Because of the nature of my business, I talk intimately with my clients, and I can tell almost immediately if they’ve got a supportive family or an un-supportive one. It’s always reflected in the way they perceive themselves. Those with supportive families have a better sense of self-esteem and are emotionally balanced.  Those whose family and friends are not supportive generally perceive themselves as “ugly” or ‘less than’ - and are not balanced. I have met women in their 60’s who have never come to terms with their hair loss because they have never been able to achieve that inner balance that comes from a healthy sense of “wholeness.”

Truly nurturing parents support children from the inside out. I mean that they give their kids that all important internal love which helps them develop real self-esteem.  They let their kids know that they are perfect just the way they are and that even though they are different from most other kids, they are unique and wonderful just as they are.  These children will have the opportunity to grow up knowing that their hair is just an outside accoutrement, as opposed to their internal well being.